Knowing God

“We forfeit that birthright [intimacy with God] when we take folks through a discipleship program whereby they master any number of Christian precepts and miss the most important thing of all, the very thing for which we were created: intimacy with God. There are, after all, those troubling words Jesus spoke to those who were doing all the “right” things: “Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you'” (Matt 7:23). Knowing God. That’s the point.”
~ John Eldredge, “Waking the Dead”, pg 96

What a powerful statement. When those who always “did the right thing” stood before God, He said “I never knew you”. We try so hard to be “Good Christians” we go to church every Sunday, we read this book, or that book, we play in the worship band, we serve on a church committee or volunteer in one of the ministries, because, that’s what good christians do, right? Continue reading

Sickness & Insecurities

You probably noticed that I missed my post on Thursday. That was because I was sick. I left work early Wednesday because I couldn’t work, and then Thursday I worked for one hour before going home and sleeping the rest of day away.

Then Friday we had a kick-off party thing for my 2 best friends before they left for their trip. Saturday morning, I had to get up early to practice for a play for church, so I only had the chance to say a quick goodbye while they were half-asleep.

Their leaving was much harder on me for me this time for some reason…

Much harder… Continue reading

Leaving, Round 2

Well, it’s that time again, everyone is getting ready to leave… again…

Somehow, it seems both harder and easier this time.

In about 9 days, Cameron & Tyler will be leaving for the second part of their trip, but this time, they will be joined by Josh! (you can read the announcement here) They have some really cool idea’s for this leg of the trip, but we’re not ready to publicly announce it yet, so check out their blog for that announcement soon! All I can say about it is that it gave me the reason I needed to buy a piece of equipment I’ve wanted for a while now :). It is easier, because they’ve already been gone for a while, so this isn’t something new, but it’s harder because I’ve just started to get used to them being home again…

But they aren’t the only one’s leaving soon… Continue reading

True Love

We throw this phrase around all the time. We want “true love” with the one we want to marry. We say things like “if you truly love me, you would _________.”

The other day, I posted this on my Facebook:

True love (even in a friendship kinda way) is finding joy in watching someone live & move in their passions, even knowing that it will probably take them away from you… Continue reading

Celebrations (5 of 5)

I love having guest posts, so for the last post from my review of this past year, I wanted to put up the post written by my now roommate Chris Hall…. If you want to guest post, please feel free to shoot me an email via the contact page, or if you have my email, email me directly… Continue reading

A Thanksgiving Worth Celebrating

Well, today is Thanksgiving Day. So I guess I’ll be like everyone else and say the things I am thankful for…

First, is my family. Mom, dad, sister, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandma… They have been the ones who have shaped me into who I am today with their love, support, and strength through all my crazy idea’s, plans and escapades… and stood by me through it all.

Next I’d like to thank my “extended” family. Not like cousin family, but those people who are like family to me (ie my adopted parents, brothers, sisters, etc). Glenn, Luli, & Jordan Stoltzfus; Rodney & Stephanie Smoker; Cody & Cameron Hall; Ryan Dagen; Tyler Stoltzfus; My “little bro”, Brandon; Josh Stippich; Gordon Heinrich; Jonathan Masteller; Mahlon Beiler & so many more…  Continue reading

My Breaking Heart


“My love is over, it’s underneath It’s inside, it’s in between The times that you’re healing And when your heart breaks The times that you feel like you’ve fallen from grace” ~ “Times” by Tenth Avenue North

It’s 11:09 at night, everyone else is in bed, and I find myself sitting alone in the dark with a heavy, breaking, heart, tears rolling down my face. I guess I should back up. For almost 6 years now, I have started off every morning with the following prayer, “God, let me see people the way that you see them, and let me love them the way that you love them.” I’ve expanded it since then, but that was what it started as. And about 5 years ago, he started really answering that prayer in a major way. Continue reading

These are my Souvenirs


Here’s to the twilight
here’s to the memories
these are my souvenirs
~”Souvenirs” by Switchfoot

When you look around my room, you will find an assortment of so many random things. (seriously, ask my roommates, they’ll tell you). There’s a teddy bear, there’s poster with burnt paper, a jar of oil, an old style bullet, a can that had the side ripped open, a key, a pin to a grenade, a ship, some rocks, and I could go on and on.

Why do I have them? What is their purpose? to many people, these items are probably just a random collection of junk. But to me, every item is a memory, and more important than just a memory, it’s a memory of a person, and a life changed. Some are memories from my own life, a memory of a version of me in the past (some good, some bad). And some are memories of someone else’s life that I had the awesome chance to get to watch (and if I was really lucky, God let me play this little tiny part in).
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Lately I’m not who I’m supposed to be
Thoughts and words are acting differently
Where do you even begin when you’re too lost to see
the beginning or end?

Have you ever felt like you weren’t where you were supposed to be in life? Ever felt like your not who you think or feel like you should be? And on one hand, you don’t like it, but on the other, you don’t want to forget or “cure” it

I don’t want a cure to leave behind this part of me
I hide on a stage
Inside a dream

Do you ever find yourself hiding, sometimes right in plain sight, but not really as honest or authentic as people think? I know I do. I find myself thinking all the time “if only you knew what was going on inside my head, you wouldn’t love me so much, or at least have a lot less respect for me…”
Continue reading