Today we are going to talk about something that is important for leaders if we are going to effectively influence people. We are going to talk about COMMUNICATION. When I talk about communication, I’m not talking about public speaking (though many of these things can be applied to it) I’m talking about communicating in the context of relationships with the people you are leading.

Communication is more than just what you say to someone, communication is how you say it to them.

93% of communication is not what you say, but how you say it. If you look at this, you see that word themselves are only 7% of communication, 38% is your tone of voice, and 55% is your body language. It is important to be aware of these things when you are communicating with someone so you can be sure they hear you properly.

It’s not what you say, it’s what they hear! I can say “I’ll ask Jonathan if he will serve beer at youth group” but if what you hear is “Ryan will let us serve beer at youth group” then we have to figure out where the breakdown is, and sadly, most of the time, it’s on the communicators side…

This kinda leads me to my next point. You cannot effectively communicate with people who think you don’t really care about them. I once heard it this way “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” You need to make sure people know that you really care about them before you can effectively communicate with them.

How many of you have ever heard of the 5 Love Languages? Imagine people feeling loved/knowing they are loved as a big tank, and every time you do something to let someone know you love them, fuel is added to that tank, and you can communicate with them. Well, some people get that fuel in different ways. Those ways are: Quality Time (hanging out with people, which is different for guys and girls), Physical touch (hugs, high fives, wrestling, etc), Words of Affirmation (this is saying things that build people up, and this goes beyond “I Love You”, but things like complimenting them when they do something well or impressive), Acts of Service (this is doing things for people, maybe giving someone a ride, cleaning stuff up for them, carrying things for them), and last, but not least is Gifts (giving things to people, and this one is split into 2 groups, those who like fewer, but bigger gifts, and those who like many smaller gifts)

What you need to be aware of as a leader when communicating with people is “what love language are they receiving?” because if you communicate with them the wrong way (especially those who don’t know and aren’t aware of these) you can push them away.

COMMENTERS: Which Love Languages make you feel most loved? Which ones do the least for you?

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