Recovering

Lately I’m not who I’m supposed to be
Thoughts and words are acting differently
Where do you even begin when you’re too lost to see
the beginning or end?

Have you ever felt like you weren’t where you were supposed to be in life? Ever felt like your not who you think or feel like you should be? And on one hand, you don’t like it, but on the other, you don’t want to forget or “cure” it

I don’t want a cure to leave behind this part of me
I hide on a stage
Inside a dream

Do you ever find yourself hiding, sometimes right in plain sight, but not really as honest or authentic as people think? I know I do. I find myself thinking all the time “if only you knew what was going on inside my head, you wouldn’t love me so much, or at least have a lot less respect for me…”

You don’t always do what you’re supposed to
But it’s what you do next that will define you

I love these two lines, because they are so true. It’s not about what you’ve done, it’s more about what you do after…

I just want to be free
Let it die, this old part of me
Bring your fury inside
Red turns to white, and leave all the lies behind

We want to get control of our lives again. We feel like is spinning out of control, and we just want the lies, the hate, and the chains to fall away and live free for once!

Alone we aren’t much
Just lost in a crowd
Alone we aren’t much
But together we’re loud

I think the drummer for The Dirty Guv’nahs, Aaron Hoskins, author of the song, said it best: “Recovery was the last song we completed before going to Woodstock. Its about going through a difficult point in your life, and feeling like you’re not yourself. When you feel lost, its tough to find a way out. Ultimately, we aren’t bound to the past, and we do control our future. Things are hard for all of us, but if we’re smart, we don’t go through them alone. This song is about the importance of community, faith, and family to get through the rough parts. Alone we aren’t much. Together we’re loud.”

We need each other if we are to make it through these times in our loves where everything is in question. As I am coming out of a time where my whole world has been shaken and is finally becoming stable again, I can say that it was those around me that helped give me the strength and encouragement to keep going. God did not design us to go through these times of trouble and questioning alone, he designed us to do it with others.

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