I’ve often dealt with change well (I think). Maybe not always liked it, but I dealt well with it. But that is because I have always had this stable ground to stand on. But now, all of that is changing too. Now I don’t know what to do. My world is rocking, my life is changing, my once big platform, that had walls and a roof to protect me from the storm has crumbled away and I feel like there is only this little tiny platform for me to stand on, exposed, as the other changes happen.
Right now, I hate change & I’m not sure I know how to deal with it.
The smaller changes, that normally wouldn’t phase me, now bring me to tears because I don’t know what is stable for me to hold on to.
Now, before you all tell me “You have to hold on to God”, I know that. He is that platform that I do have left. The platform doesn’t move, but the winds swirls around, the rain falls hard, debris flies toward me, and I have no walls or roof for shelter to keep me dry and warm. Just my little platform to stand on. Or rather, to curl up on.
To cry out that God would hear me. That he would step in and make it all ok. I know He’s there, but right now, I feel abandoned. I know He is holding his hand out, and all I have to is take it, and He would wrap me up in His arms and protect me from the storm that is my life right now.
But I can’t.
Even though I know that is what I need to do, I am curled up in my ball on the platform using my arms to protect myself & keep myself warm, so I find it hard to reach out and actually take His had. Thankfully, He is a God who is patient, and will stand there until I am ready to reach out.