Learning How To Die

All along I thought
I was learning how to take
How to bend not how to break
How to live not how to cry
But really
I’ve been learning how to die
I’ve been learning how to die
~ “Learning How To Die” by Jon Foreman

Why are we so afraid of emotion? We are so scared of letting people see us cry, or see us upset, or see us on the verge of losing it all. Why is that? What are we so afraid of?

I love this song by Jon Foreman.

But when we deny these emotions, we deny the very thing that lets us know we are truly alive. By denying them, we learn not to be strong, but how to die.

Slowly.

This then leads us to so much more pain. When we deny ourselves these emotions, these feelings, and allow ourselves to begin to die, we try to feel alive any way we can. We seek thrills, we seek pain, we seek anything to make us feel alive again.

I believe that tears can be one of the most healing things that our body has. Not because of the tears themselves, but because when you cry, you take all the pent up, bottled up emotion, that is way to full for the jar it is held in, so full it’s about to break, and we just pour it out.

Empty the bottle

Release the pressure.

And we feel better.

But then we take that bottle, and as more stuff happens in our life, we begin to fill it up again. And that bottle gets full. And this time, we don’t take care of it on our own, and it shatters all around us. Now, in a way we can’t control, we’ve lost control of our emotions, we lash out at those we love, we make stupid decision and do something rash.

Then we get labeled as unstable.

And that label hurts. So we bottle up the emotion. and the cycle continues. At some point, we have to break that cycle. We have to willingly, in a healthy way, let the emotions out.

How we do that? It’s different for each person. But I do know one thing that is the same for everyone, we can’t do it on our own. How you let your emotion out in a healthy way will change, but you should never do it alone.

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