Who am I? Am I worth it? Am I worth fighting for? I feel called to fight spiritually for others, but yet, when others offer to fight for me, I brush them off, and turn and see whom else I can fight for… And during worship in Coram Deo (our chapel service) today God really started to point out this lie that I had come to believe, the lie that I wasn’t worth fighting for, all I was good for was to be on the front line as a little peon doing what I am told, fighting for others, which is good, but not worth the fight myself… I see myself as a such a little insignificant person that is not worth the fight, so when people try to fight for me, I push them away. God is showing me that I need to let others fight for me… I just had a thought as I’m writing this, could this lie of my not being worth it, lead to a form of pride? I am not worth it, so when others come to fight for me, I turn them away because I want to die fighting for myself, with the pride of fighting for myself? I really don’t know, but it’s something to think about…
Mar
10
2009
I’m pretty sure that everything bad that exists is some twisted form of pride. But that’s just my opinion.: )